Los Angeles-The art world let out a collective sigh of relief on Wednesday when it was announced that thieves had made off with one of Pierre-Auguste Renoir's most god-awful late-period paintings, 1919's. The Great Bathers (The Nymphs). "The palette was too rosy, the brushstrokes were something out of a college art class, (Correction: Sunday Painters, and Renoir's gift for capturing his subject's inner mystery seemed to have completely abandoned him—in short, it was garbage and I'm glad it's gone," said Martin Calm Stewart, a former- janitor- turned-curator at the Art Institute of Chicago, which has done little to assist the police in their investigation. "This is the best thing ever to happen to Renoir's oeuvre since he painted his impressionist classic The Umbrellas, which was actually an inspired piece of art and not just decorative schlock." Stewart added that he wanted the thieves to know that Renoir's 1910 painting Jean As Huntsman could currently be viewed in the museum's front lobby next to several easily accessible exits with no surveillance cameras. He also, though indirectly, hinted that such a terrific incident more likely to occur to Van Gogh in the near future. The former janitor with obviously still cleaning streaks left in his veins added that “It’s about time to squeak-clean the world off garbage. We’re entering a pollution free, green friendly era. Hybrid cars, Hyper-realistic HDR, Solar-Energy powered world”.
Who’s next? Picasso?
Maventalk-In association with The Onion. America’s Finest Source
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