FROM THE "ROAD NOTES OF MAVEN" Redneck: (phillybilly)

FROM THE "ROAD NOTES OF MAVEN" Redneck: (phillybilly), originally uploaded by mavenimagery® Officially Away....

FROM THE "ROAD NOTES OF MAVEN" Redneck: (phillybilly)
b> 2011 by mavenimagery Labs Inc. All rights reserved.
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aS sHOT: nO PROCESSING HAS BEEN APPLIED

Driving around any redneck burg between midnight and sunrise, you take your chances, says Tom with its mechanic voice. Tom’s a specially programed GPS gizmo. We’re moving at 80miles per hour.
Would you like me to scan for radar signals, Maven?
No, I say, glancing at a motorbiker on my left, gradually getting ahead, and passing me, so it must be traveling 90 miles per hour. That won’t be necessary. Tom?
Yes, Maven?
Whaddya call a female redneck? I voice at Tom. As the rider fleeting ahead, a sneaky temptation thrusting my foot on the accelerator.
Beep! Beep! BEEPP!
Tom! Reset speed-slash-Space-Forward [/]-slash-space-slash-release-slash-all.
Maven, I’m keeping within the speed limit. I wouldn’t—
Don’t pussy, on me Tom! I say. Answer the question.
I’m afraid my data doesn’t contain such information.
Advanced, I voice. Connect satellite data-slash-all-slash-redneck-dictionary-slash-redneck definition-search now.
Beep!
On the screen: 3990 up 814 down
You would be a redneck if:
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
Flick it, Tom. Next
You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
Flick it
Your wife weighs more than your refrigerator.
I look at the biker. Healthy on the flesh side
Close one. Flick it! Narrow-slash-search-slash-female
Beep!
Most definitely the finest thing ever created e.g. “Gosh that female with the brunette hair is stunning”
Amused. Negative-slash-narrow-slash-vagina-search
Beep!
The best friend a penis will ever have. Is that the answer for you, Maven?
No! Connect satellite XWNSA-slash-Global-female-slash-redneck-vagina-search-
Beep!
when in beerpong a diamond shape made by four cups sometimes refered to as the vagina rack
Next rack give me a vagimond
Cute! Negative. New-slash-search-slash-fanny-slash-bitch-slash-female-slash-poon-slash-cooch-plus-redneck female-girl-whitetrash
Girl who is totally sexy. She has a truck and it's a bad ass. All the guys want her but she only likes redneck boys.
She loves country music. She probably not a virgin
Probably? ? Good one Tom. Garth “Farth” Brooks and George “Beer” Jones. Great Yokel cast.
and she's cool with that. She hunts and fishes. She's a daddy's girl.
She’s every daddy’s girl, for sure
SHE'S SOOOOO HOT!!
Holy Shit....look at the Redneck Girl!
I look at the biker again.
Negative! New-slash-eurosat-slash-connect-slash-plus#!most sophisticated satellite-slash- Cryosat-search- redneck female
Beeep! Beeep!
Time elapsed two minutes…1.46 minutes, 43 seconds, 2 seconds…
Beep! Dang!
Home: MSSAT Global… Cryosat/eurosat
Altitude: 0,-19.62189218031936,-37.529296875,-1611.812,-5288.097
Magnitude : 1,-17.539296556236692,-44.47265625,1026.527,3367.869
Source: Vatican Archive
Section: Human Race, Culture, Language and Traditions
Page 247
noun phillybilly
female hillbilly (philly + hillbilly = "phillybilly"
A "phillybilly" engages in behavior commonly associated with a typically rural white male hillbilly - such as wearing hats, driving trucks, chewing tobacco, and going deer/coon hunting (omitted)
Excellent, Tom
Here is another one:
noun fedneck 2 up, 3 down
female redneck. (female + redneck = "fedneck.")
A "fedneck" engages in behavior commonly associated with a typically white male redneck - such as wearing hats, driving trucks, chewing tobacco, and going deer/coon hunting. The screen’s scrolling down like I hit a jackpot
Dialect/Accent
Redneck Ph.D.: interrupting conversation to grandstand stupid point: “ COMPEWWWTURS ARE DEVULL SAYTEN M'CHEENS!!! THAY WULL RAWT-YERR-BRAYN!! THE FAWL OF MAYN, THESE THANGS! THE GUFFRN'MENT IS JUST FITTIN' TO USE THE, THE MAAAAAND CINTROLL TO MAKE YE PAY THE TAXXES”.
Redneck #2: “ YEAH, JED! YOU SAY IT! THEY ALSO BE HIDIN' DEM SEQUINED NUMBERS OR WHATEVER”